First dates may not be a ritual or even a ritualization, but they are part of the process of growing up and becoming an adult. First dates are part of the process of a rite of passage for both the people going on the dates and their parents. The young adults are trying to find future partners and the only way they can find these are by going on dates. The parents have to accept that their child is forging a new type of relationship. The romantic type. Something they didn’t have before they started being attracted to people in a physical way. As such this is a very early part of the coming of age rite of passage, so I put it into separation. They separate from being only interested in friendships to now being interested in trying a romantic partnership.
Dating in Japan usually starts in groups. Yume’s friend had her first date as part of four couples. Either the group is already made up of couples or it’s all made of unattached people who are trying to find future dates. If unattached then you bring friends of the same sex otherwise a confusing message is sent. Being part of a larger group can make a date less intimate and also less risky. Solo dates are more dangerous, so it makes sense. If you don’t end up liking your date you at least you have other people to hang out with. There is strength in numbers.
“Kokuhaku” is an important symbol of dating in Japan. It basically translates to “I love you”, but it has much more meaning than that. This word can be expressed in person, over text, or over phone. It represents a desire to be together, as well as a declaration of love and is asking for commitment from the other person. This can occur before a first date as it did with Yume’s friend or may occur after a few group dates when someone decides one person they want to try dating. Usually this is done by the man. In addition, men will usually play for the meal on the date.
A myth I discovered is that people shouldn’t go to Tokyo Disneyland for a first date. This is because at Disneyland much of the time is spent waiting in line, so there would be a lot of awkward silences. This makes sense as this isn’t somebody you know very well yet. You could say Tokyo Disneyland is a sort of symbol for older couples. It also represents something you can’t rush into. It’s an ideal place for later on just not a first date. It’s special and worth waiting for.
I cannot find enough evidence to call this a ritual or even a ritualization, but I don’t think this is something we can overlook so easily. Nothing is very standardized or for sure, a first date can be anything a lot of people might do dinner and/or a movie, but that’s not close to set in stone. I mean “kokuhaku” is too short to be anything more than a symbol.
Sources:
http://www.ehow.com/about_6500509_etiquette-dating-japan.html
http://backtojapan.wordpress.com/2011/08/07/japanese-dating-culture/
http://howtojapan.blogspot.com/2005/10/how-does-dating-work-in-japan.html
Yume
Dating in Japan usually starts in groups. Yume’s friend had her first date as part of four couples. Either the group is already made up of couples or it’s all made of unattached people who are trying to find future dates. If unattached then you bring friends of the same sex otherwise a confusing message is sent. Being part of a larger group can make a date less intimate and also less risky. Solo dates are more dangerous, so it makes sense. If you don’t end up liking your date you at least you have other people to hang out with. There is strength in numbers.
“Kokuhaku” is an important symbol of dating in Japan. It basically translates to “I love you”, but it has much more meaning than that. This word can be expressed in person, over text, or over phone. It represents a desire to be together, as well as a declaration of love and is asking for commitment from the other person. This can occur before a first date as it did with Yume’s friend or may occur after a few group dates when someone decides one person they want to try dating. Usually this is done by the man. In addition, men will usually play for the meal on the date.
A myth I discovered is that people shouldn’t go to Tokyo Disneyland for a first date. This is because at Disneyland much of the time is spent waiting in line, so there would be a lot of awkward silences. This makes sense as this isn’t somebody you know very well yet. You could say Tokyo Disneyland is a sort of symbol for older couples. It also represents something you can’t rush into. It’s an ideal place for later on just not a first date. It’s special and worth waiting for.
I cannot find enough evidence to call this a ritual or even a ritualization, but I don’t think this is something we can overlook so easily. Nothing is very standardized or for sure, a first date can be anything a lot of people might do dinner and/or a movie, but that’s not close to set in stone. I mean “kokuhaku” is too short to be anything more than a symbol.
Sources:
http://www.ehow.com/about_6500509_etiquette-dating-japan.html
http://backtojapan.wordpress.com/2011/08/07/japanese-dating-culture/
http://howtojapan.blogspot.com/2005/10/how-does-dating-work-in-japan.html
Yume
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